It took a major allergy/hive attack to have my Epiphany… Sitting on my couch, doped up on my prescriptions, not being able to function correctly it hit me like a major smack upside the head!! WHAT AM I DOING?!?!?! HOW DID I GET THIS FAR WITHOUT KNOWING??!?!
I’m going to back up alittle before I go into this any further….. I believe everyone has a Journey while they are on this Earth. We each walk our own path’s on this journey. Sometimes our paths will intertwine with one another, run parallel or sometimes go complete different directions But it is still our path that we choose. Don’t let others choose your path either.
Just like a “trail” in the forest you come across other “trails”, you can take that other “trail” or you can continue on the current. We may not know what is down that “trail”.. it could have something we have always wanted to see or it could run into a dead end. Still we have the choice which “trail” to take. It is usually trial or error for some, some use prayer to help make those decisions or as I do I ask my guides for guidance, a sign.
Now, back to last week.. After the Smack upside my head.. I really started to think about what I have been doing. I ran it threw my head, backing up to when I took a turn on my path?!?!?
This path I was on was a “round a bout” but the scenery was ever changing. Every time I went around, there was something new. I had to try it all, had to experience it all. The problem was… I wasn’t getting anywhere, nothing was getting accomplished AND IT WASN’T the PATH I WANTED to BE ON! This round a bout was so powerful it had made me forget who I was, what I believed, what I had planned and where I wanted to go.
So why was this round a bout so powerful?!?! Because it was giving me something that I hadn’t had when i was a child…. attention. What I hadn’t noticed was I had got sucked into this nasty little path because part of my childhood decided it was going to finally get what it hadn’t gotten as a child. I was the last born & the opps to top it off. I spent the most of my life invisible, not good enough, etc.
My inner child, who I thought I had reassured enough, Saw this pretty, shiny, overloaded with attention path and steered me right into it. It was easy to get lost. When I would attempt to tell my self enough, lets get back on track.. She went OHHHH SHINY!! and off we would go again.
It took being miserable and unable to focus for me to realize what had been happening. Now I have to clean up the “mess” she got me into. Along your journey your going to run into obstacles, whether it is a huge tree across your path, a Shiny one , Someone telling you to take a certain path, etc..
What I realized, which this is a never ending process of learning, You can’t just charge down a single path. If you have the urge to go down that “shiny” path .. do it.. Just know your limits. Don’t get engulfed by it. If I had given in occasionally to my inner child, maybe she wouldn’t have gone crazy. Maybe I wouldn’t have gotten lost.
We can’t go threw life with denying ourselves everything. Whether it is a diet, career, business, whatever. If you deny yourself constantly then that “little person” inside you is gonna take over sooner or later and the next thing you know you have eaten 4 boxes of cookies or worse. It’s o.k to veer down a side path if it catches your eye. Just don’t let it consume you. Ask yourself, Is this what I really want??, Is this just a phase or pit stop. If it’s just a pit stop then make sure its just a pit stop. Remind yourself that this is just temporary…..I need to let loose and have fun… I just want to dabble with this for a bit and see how it works out. Don’t let it consume you or you will be lost in a hurry.
I have now learned another lesson in life. Though this one is going to take a little bit of work to correct it has opened my eyes to making sure I take a Time Out. To relax, get away from electronics, don’t let others determine my path, see nature and not be so strict and hard on myself.
I had found this quote awhile back and saved it but I need to place it where I can see it.
photo by http://www.quantumgrace.net
When I had first saw it I was … WOW that really reflects how I feel and what I believe. It amazed me that I could allow a world that is predominant in social media grasp me and try to change the person I am. I was so sure I had “control” and I was “immune”. I have accepted that I got lost, How I got lost and what I can do to not end up on that round a bout again. It’s great to have Future goals but to get to those goals you need to take it one day at a time. Live the here and now, not the past, not the failures, just Now.
Though this will take time, I refuse to not finish what I had started. Even if it’s off a different direction from what I want to do. The next week or so I will be working on unfinished wip’s. Hopefully I can get them all done quickly so I can resume on my intended path.
Til Next post…
Take Care and remember,,, LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH and Be YOU.